when i started this whole blogging thing [or, to be more correct, re-started...] about 10 months ago, i intended this blog to be populated with posts on a pretty wide range of topics that interest me: food, music, gender, sports, grad school, etc. certainly, i had always planned it to be an avenue for me to talk about dealing with being trans* and the shit [good and bad] that comes with it, but my goal was never to have a monotypic, trans*-specific blog. [not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not what i wanted.]
plus, while being trans* [and figuring out what that means, both literally and figuratively] is an integral part of my life right now, it’s definitely not the only thing that defines me. nor do i want it to dominate my life. same goes for my love of music or cooking, my job as a grad student, or anything else. i’ve always had a difficult time defining myself in any particular way, it’s just not something i’m comfortable with. i enjoy the fact that i have lots of different identities and interest. plus, i think many of the aspects of my life parallel and intersect each other in interesting ways that i really want to explore and expound on. [e.g., i'm really enjoying deconstructing normative ecologist narratives right now...more on this soon!] but i have kinda been feeling like i’ve been writing a lot about trans*/queer stuff lately. and i think this is reflective of how much i’ve been thinking about it in general…until very recently, that is. not that i don’t think about it at all any more [ha!], just that it’s not on my forebrain all the time anymore.
this change in what i’m thinking about has coincided with my recent decision to brainstorm out some ideas for future posts. in looking at the list of topics, i’ve realized that many of my coming posts will not be about trans* stuff [or will only tangentially be related]. and that’s exciting to me. i’m really, really glad that i’ve gotten my brain off of thinking primarily about gender stuff. it’s not due to any one particular event or conversation, but rather i think it’s the consequence of a combination of a lot of really good conversations with friends [both new and old], a number of trips to see people, some soul-searching on my part, and some personal time away from certain things in my life that were particularly detrimental to my mental state of being. as well as a bunch of other stuff that is particularly difficult to articulate. it’s not really worth dissecting at this point. i’m just happy to be contented.
and with my mind not overly focused on trans*/queer/gender things, i’m actually finding myself thinking a lot about other really interesting things. for example, i’m thinking a fair bit about academia and Science right now. not necessarily particular findings in ecological research that pique my interest [of which there are plenty, but that's for worktimes], but more about the scientific endeavor in general: the structure of the academic research industrial complex, the oft-unchallenged myths of ecological science, the use/misuse of science in the general cultural discourse, etc.
i think some of this is the result of my having traveled to two large academic meetings in the span of a few weeks, being about to finish my degree, and trying to figure out what i want to do with my life after i am done with grad school. the combination of impending existential life changes and immersions into the fire of academic meetings has definitely got my noggin thinking about what i’m spending my life doing right now. [in generally positive/productive ways.]
but in truth, i’ve been thinking about this kind of stuff for a while now, and have been chatting about it with friends and colleagues. i just haven’t expounded on it here. but i think this blog is a really good forum for me to start or continue discussions on the academic/scientific enterprise. and in particular, to engage a lot of different folks [including both scientists and non-scientists alike]. and so i’m planning to write a fair bit about this kind of stuff in the future.
and so, i guess the take-home of this post is: the future of this blog is likely going to be a bit different, certainly a lot broader, than the past. in [hopefully] fantastic and awesome ways. not that i’m not going to talk about gender/trans*/queer stuff any more. no, that’ll certainly still be here, but in healthy doses, and alongside a lot of other stuff. it’s time to really get this hodgepodge rollin’ all along.